Sirius Is Bored
by Capacious-Whirl
Summary: The title is self explanatory. Set in the Marauders' seventh year Remus is trying to work but Sirius is having none of it... Oneshot. Please read it, it's not bad!


Author's Note: I was bored and decided to write this. It's quite slow and probably not very funny or interesting, but hey, it filled a half hour or so. I hope you read and enjoy it, and perhaps review. Thank you.

Disclaimer: None of the material below belongs to me; it belongs to J.K. Rowling.

The bright fire of Gryffindor Tower crackled merrily in its grate, casting warm orange light over the happily chattering students and creating shadows in the dark crevices of the circular room.

Remus Lupin sat in his favourite armchair, oblivious to his rowdy colleagues. In front of him was a low table, covered with bits of parchment crammed with notes and diagrams, and piles of dog-eared textbooks filled innumerable bookmarks sticking out of their creased pages.

He poured over a thick volume in his lap, the dull gold lettering on whose cover read _Advanced Transfiguration for NEWTs Students_. Flicking his light brown hair out of his eyes, he lent forward towards his inkpot. Just as he lowered the loaded quill to the page before him, however, a paper aeroplane magically winged its way into his face. Jumping in surprise, Remus dropped his quill and sprayed ink everywhere, ruining his essay before he'd written a word.

Sighing and wiping the ink from his fingertips, he unfolded the plane and read the carelessly scrawled words, 'Sirius is bored'.

Thinking he should reply to this fifth note – each of which had been identical to this one – he added his own message underneath, and sent it back across the table.

Sirius Black lay upside down on the squashy red settee opposite Remus, staring into the fire and trying to find shapes within the flames. He watched a pair of female legs pass in and out of his line of vision as a girl walked past him, and then saw one of his planes finally returning to him.

Reaching a hand out he snatched it from the air and tore it open, only to be disappointed with the words 'Remus doesn't care. Remus is working'. He gave a great sigh. Bloody Moony, being all conscientious. Bloody Prongs, being Head Boy. Bloody Wormtail, getting detention from Slughorn again. Sitting up, he screwed up the paper and threw at Remus, aiming for his head. It missed, going straight over the top of the chair.

"You ought to be a Chaser with those skills," Remus commented idly as he paused to turn the page of his book.

"You ought to be the cleverest guy in the world ever, with the amount of reading you do," Sirius snapped back. When he got no reply, he added slyly, "the cleverest werewolf, at any rate."

This time Remus looked up, and frowned. Sirius sighed. "I know, it's not the type of information you want bandied about," he said. "But I'm so bored, Moony!"

"Alright," Remus said, closing the book unexpectedly and putting his quill down. "What do you want to do?"

Sirius blinked. "Oh. Erm…" Thinking it unlikely he would ever get Remus to stop working in favour of entertaining him, he hadn't thought this far ahead. "How about a game?" he suggested. When Remus continued to look unimpressed, Sirius cast his eyes around, searching for an idea. His gaze landed on an old copper kettle next to the fire, and he grinned.

Looking back at Remus, he said, "How about we have a hot chocolate?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a really fun game." Remus' hand strayed dangerously back his book and Sirius grabbed the kettle in desperation.

"No, it will be!" he told his friend, his brown eyes agleam. "You see, we put the kettle on the fire, then when it boils and starts whistling, we see who can stand the noise the longest."

"That's the stupidest idea for a game I've ever heard," Remus scoffed. "Which is of course what makes it so good. Put the kettle on."

Sirius did this, all the time looking highly pleased with himself. He knew he could get Remus in a simple battle of wills.

He smirked as he sat back in his seat. "You know," he deviously began, "being a werewolf, your ears are more keen and perceptive than the average human's."

Remus didn't even flinch, and came right back with, "But as you're not an average human, _Padfoot_, that won't really affect the outcome of our game, will it?" Now he smirked as Sirius huffed back into his chair.

They went back to sitting in silence again, as the kettle slowly heated over the fire and Remus read a few more pages. Sirius turned his eye to a group of sixth year girls sitting by the window, enjoying the giggling reaction he got.

After a few minutes they could hear the water bubbling inside the kettle. Their eyes met for an instant across the heavily laden table, and both Marauders smirked, then proceeded to ignore each other.

Remus tried to continue reading, but kept going over the same sentence, unable to concentrate. Sirius looked very nonchalant, lying back on the sofa with his feet resting on his friend's books.

As the kettle began whistling, quietly at first, a few people glanced up at it, wondering why the two nearest wouldn't stop it. When they saw it was two of the Marauders, they decided it was safest to keep away.

Sirius shifted on the settee, and smoothed his hair back. Looking over at Remus, he grinned, noticing his unmoving eyes. "Enjoying your book, Moony?" he asked innocently.

"Yes, it's very interesting, thank you," Remus replied, just as casually. "Would you like a look at it?" he enquired, leaning over to offer it.

"Nah, I don't need that rubbish." Sirius raised his voice to combat the whistling, which was getting louder and shriller every at every passing second.

"Oh, shame," Remus half-shouted. "I thought you'd gotten over you fifth-year arrogance."

"Pardon?" Sirius cupped a hand to his ear. "You'll have to speak up, mate."

Remus smirked. "Very funny," he said sarcastically.

"You're the one laughing, mate." Both Marauders were very good at arranging their expressions calmly so as to conceal the pain.

Now a brave onlooker carefully ventured over. "Hey guys, d'you think you could shut the kettle off, that whistling is doing my head in," he spoke into Sirius' ear, in order to be heard.

"Sorry chuck, no can do," Sirius replied, "It's a battle of wills between me and Moony. Just wait a minute or so, he'll soon give in."

"Oho, you think so, do you?" Remus sat up straight and cross-legged in his chair, determined to beat Sirius this time. All pretence of indifference now ceased, and the two seventh years seemed to have entered a staring contest, as well as a not-listening contest.

They had the attention of the common room now, too, and although most of the other students had cast silencing spells around themselves, unable to stand the noise, they were entertained by the spectacle of two stubborn Marauders. The group of sixth year girls admired the stern, focussed countenances, and began deciding which one they each preferred.

But Marauders cannot stay stern for long, and they both began to smile as they thought about the situation, and then laughed loud and unheard beneath the row from the fire. The flames cast dancing shadows on their faces as they continued to survey each other.

Sirius suddenly roared with laughter. "Ah mate, this is mad, let's call it even," he yelled. "Go and turn it off, will you, Moony?"

Remus shook his head slowly and smiled. "Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

"You know you're my smartest friend," Sirius assured, resisting the urge to put his fingers in his ears.

"Wow, that's a real compliment, if you mean I'm smarter than Prongs _and_ Wormtail," Remus said with another hint of sarcasm, even as he thought he could feel his teeth rattling with the noise.

Sirius grinned. "Well you're certainly the most unflappable," he said, as he began thinking of another winning scheme to end the game. Suddenly there was a pained expression on his face. Remus noticed this with a sceptically raised eyebrow, but looked somewhat amused at the same time.

"Ah Moony, I don't feel so good, I think the noise is getting to me," Sirius moaned. "I feel quite faint, maybe we should stop the game." He lay back on the settee, then peeked a glance at Remus, who just looked at him, unimpressed.

"I'm serious!" he began again.

"I know you're Sirius," Remus interrupted.

"Oh, ha ha, some friend you are," Sirius tried. "I'm feeling really ill and you make fun of me." He sat up again, and looked Remus straight in the face before his last words, "If I'm really hurt after this and you haven't helped, you're gonna feel really –" His voice drifted off as he raised a hand to his forehead dramatically and collapsed off the settee onto the floor.

Remus smirked and shook his head, waiting for his friend to get bored and open one eye to peek at his reaction. But this didn't happen; Sirius sure was good at playing dead. Remus reached into his pocket and drew out his wand. Pointing it at Sirius' face, he muttered a spell and started drawing a moustache. Having something to concentrate on actually detracted from the force of the now screeching kettle, and just as he finished tracing the word 'LOSER' on Sirius' forehead, the portrait hole opened and James burst in. Such was the power of his charisma that the entire common room, minus Sirius and Remus, turned to look at him.

"Bloody hell, what's that racket?" he shouted, in his usual larger-than-life manner. Looking over at the fire he grinned as he saw his best friend on the floor. "What are you doing down there, Padfoot?" he roared. "Get up and get that kettle off, I'm dying for a drink."

The watching students cheered with relief and laughter as the noise was finally stoped, and Sirius jumped up, looking angry at first, then he looked at Remus and grinned.

"Good game, Moony, I'll think twice about challenging you again. And, neither of us are losers; high five _that_!" he cried, raising his hand for the high five. Remus nodded and smiled, and raised his own hand, looking forward to the reaction to his graffiti that would doubtless occur soon enough.


End file.
